Since it’s been a long time since my last post (my sincerest apologies), I thought we’d try something different. I will review all the films I have seen since last time (which is about five movies. I have been wearing TV series googles for most of my absence) and the CRAZY thing we’ll do is… I will only get one paragraph per movie to write my review…

I’m scared. I love writing long, which is probably why most people I know who read this blog only skip to the end to see what my conclusion of the movie was, and don’t actually read anything else. Well hey, now you gotta skip to six different places!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA 3:)

Right, first up:

STAR TREK – INTO THE DARKNESS (2013, Dir: J.J. Abrams)



Note 1: I loved the first one and saw it twice in the cinema and have seen it countless times on DVD.

Note 2: Unlike other reviewers I was not expecting the second installment to be a reinvention of the sci-fi genre AGAIN. I just wanted the same as the first movie, one more time. Only slightly different and hopefully with some sort of unexpected event/twist/surprise.

At least with my expectations I get what I want. I loved the new Star Trek. It makes me want them to make Star Trek movies forever. And it makes me fear the rebirth of the Star Wars franchise, because how can J.J.Abrams ever top this. How? I am looking forward to see how he fucks it up (bound to happen at some point, if not with Star Wars) or saves the day. What I love the most about these Star Trek movies is the interactions between the almost non-emotional Spock and the teenage hormony humans who feel everything and don’t understand Spock’s lack of interest in their emotions. It’s hilarious and otherworldly on a smaller scale than all the spaceships and the monsters, but one which I appreciate more than all the other things put together. It is the essence of a good sci-fi to break down your boundaries and conventions, and these interracial moments totally do that for me. What if we didn’t feel? What would guide us? Okey, you say that’s more than a paragraph…okei then… movin’ on…

CONCLUSION: If you loved the first one, you will love this one as well. If you didn’t love the first one…well…then I judge you…I judge you hard.

(See I even bolded conclusion for you so you don’t have to stress the search of the conclusion. How nice am I?;)

SPRING BREAKERS (2012, Dir: Harmony Korine)

Spring Breakers Poster

Spring Breakers Poster

This film intrigued me, both because the trailer was vivid and beautiful, and because it got compared thematically to “Bling Ring” which is the next Sofia Coppola movie coming out soon. The movie essentially tells the story of how a group of girls, who can’t afford to go on spring break to Florida, steal enough money so that they can get away and party in their little bikinis into the sunset. The movie is first and foremost a beautiful description of a generation of youth that has become obsessed with having a good time and only having a good time. As they say loads of times in this movie, they wish it could last forever. Spring break forever. Now I don’t know about you, but as much fun as I have had in my day on holidays and what not, I ALWAYS realized that it is only fun for a week or two. These girls don’t seem to realize that. Although a couple of them get a wake up call. This is not a movie for everyone. It uses repetition of sound, which I found very effective and eerie, especially the specific things that were repeated, but my movie partner found that boring, although he as well thought the movie was beautiful. And the image of little girls in little bikinis with big, black guns will haunt you forever.

I don’t know if I want to have any kids now if this is what they will grow up to be…

CONCLUSION: Not for everyone, but if you’re feeling a bit arty, you won’t regret spending time watching this movie. Actually you should watch just because James Franco does an incredible job as the character Alien. I won’t tell you more, you’ll have to watch it.

BYZANTIUM (2012, Dir: Neil Jordan)

This was not actually the poster they had in Belfast, but this pretty much doesn't say anything about the movie either so...

This was not actually the poster they had in Belfast, but this pretty much doesn’t say anything about the movie either so…

Byzantium was just another vampire movie that me and my cousin went to in Belfast when we were there (more about that in my next blog). If my Cuz hadn’t been adament about watching this, I never would have watched it. The title is boring. The poster doesn’t make me want to watch it, and the fact that it was vampires. AGAIN. was enough for me to say “No thank you”. But there wasn’t really any good options, so I couldn’t really win. And boy was I glad. In truth, it is a bit long, especially in the beginning where it really takes a long while for the story to start rattling forwards, but once it does, it’s done. You’re in. And it’s the kind of vampire story that reaches the vividness of  “Interview with a Vampire” (my personal favorite vampire movie to date). I don’t want to tell you too much of the story, because I might ruin the plot structure. But just trust me. The acting is excellent. The drab, rural coast of Britain is devastatingly gorgeous, and the reasoning behind the existence of vampires is sound (this might sound weird, but it matters okay).

CONCLUSION: Watch it!! Even though the title is bad, oh so bad. It should have been called something else. I could write a paragraph on how wrong that title is and give better options. But I won’t. Only one paragraph 😉

GANGSTER SQUAD (2103, Dir: Ruben Fleischer)

This poster is a mess. Trying to be Film Noir, but really sucking at it.

This poster is a mess. Trying to be Film Noir, but really sucking at it.

This one is not in the cinemas anymore, but it doesn’t feel that long ago that I puffed lightly at the sight of this poster while waiting for Les Mis to open it’s doors. The poster is stupid. The title is horrendous and sounds like it was made by a group of fourteen year-olds high on glue. Regardless, as so often happens, I am still made to watch movies like these. Movies with mafia involved has a 9 out of 10 chance that I will hate it. I hate “The Godfather”. There I said it. Most boring movie EVER! Gangster Squad was that 1 in 10. Which is why Gangster Squad should change the title because I get embarrassed saying that it was good. It has a kind of “Ocean’s Eleven” feeling where a group of goodie too shoe cops of various talents, come together to crack the mega super mafia boss of L.A. Now this is all based on true events, which makes it all the more compelling. And all the more hilarious when the cops do fail after fail in some of their attempts at sabotage. You will laugh. You will cry. And you will wonder if they actually called it Gangster Squad in real life? Cause that is the ONLY reason to keep that name. If that.

CONCLUSION: If you like mafia gangster movies with loads of shooting and people being ripped appart by cars after the mafia boss says “Let her rip” then you will love it. And make your girlfriend watch it to. She will be bored during the gun shooting, but Ryan Gosling will keep her happy for most of the film 😉

And last, but not least:

CLOUD ATLAS (2012, Dir: Tom Tykwer and Andy/Lana Wachowski)

Classic Epic Poster

Classic Epic Poster

Another one which is out on DVD/Blu-Ray and that after a miserable turn at the box office where practically no one came to watch and reviewers where crying over how the idea was good, but it was too complicated and confusing. Now with this one, I’m gonna make it easy. If you liked “The Fountain”, you will like “Cloud Atlas”. If you like it when you don’t understand everything right away or even at the end of the movie, then you will like this film. I cannot stress how much I am looking forward to watching this movie again. I know, that every time I watch Cloud Atlas, I will see something new. I will see a new connection, understand another relationship, another story, another detail. And THAT makes me excited. And for that I love this movie. Maybe I always loved it. I knew I loved it before I watched it 😉 If you are skeptical  just watch it for the beautifully shot images and the imaginative illusions of the future, and of course to find all the different characters played by Tom Hanks, Hugh Grant, Halle Berry, Hugo Weaving and all the other characters. You will NEVER catch them all, I dare you. You get the answers right before the credits…and we were shocked!!!

CONCLUSION: If you don’t mind confusion and a movie that might take more than one time of watching, then go for it. The theme is love. How can you NOT watch it? It gets a bit long though so make sure you have ample time. Stopping it and watching the rest later simply won’t work 😉

So there, that was five movies in five (eherm) paragraphs. Hopefully some of them made you want to watch the film, that is afterall what I want of you. To watch and make up your own opinion. And then share with me how outrageously wrong I am. I love a good “discussion”;)

Next time I will show and tell the story of how me and my Cuz ended up in Belfast and on the set of Game of Thrones Season 4. And what the red carpet feels like 😉

Live long and prosper